Prayer & God's love

A spiritual experience I had this week was on prayer. 

I've really been trying to work with the members, hard work and effective. I was trying to be creative. We were receiving referrals. I tried to make sure that all our members that had investigators brought them to the church.  I didn´t know what to do differently, to do better, or how to change the results. I was definitely being taught a lesson though.

Before I was trying to rely on the arm of my own flesh when the person you really need to be listening was God. These are his children, not mine. So finally I gave Him control. Friday and Saturday instead of running from one place to another trying to do everything, trying to follow my own schedule, I tried to follow the program of God. Saturday night I prayed, really prayed for each of our investigators and God worked a miracle. We had 0 families committed to go to church, and on Sunday Rosa and Alfonsa were standing on the sidewalk waiting for us, ready for church. And on the way to their house one of the families from our ward asked if we needed help bringing someone to church. We delightedly said yes that would be awesome, and por fin (at last!) we brought a family to church! (but not really it was God that brought them to church.) Miracles happen. God was taking my pride and taught me to trust Him. You see, after I learned the lesson that God really does love and has a plan for all of His children. I didn´t know where my role was in that plan. If God loves all of His children and has the perfect plan for them, why will my prayers make a difference? I still don´t really understand why prayer make a difference, but I know it does. I know part of the answer is that when I find out what God wants me to do with my time, I find the people that are ready for us. Things happen a lot smoother and progress happens. Also I learned how  important it is to pray for what we should do, praying for it so hard that it will work, that hearts will changes, that they will listen. I didn´t pray for that before because I thought people have their agency. I can´t change that with a prayer, and if God has a plan for this child of His, He will work a miracle in their heart. But prayer really changes hearts. It just does. I don´t understand it completely. So thank you for all your prayers.

When I first came to Nicaragua I was learning the lesson that I thought I knew but I didn´t know well enough. God loves all of us. Trusting him to take care of his children. There are lots of people in Nicaragua and I stressed out about every single one of them. The physical and spiritual well being of all of them. I grew up being taught that God loved me and I could feel that love, but when I cam to Nicaragua I questioned that. I saw lots and lots of people that had a lot less than me. God blessed me even in the tiniest details of my life. How come these people didn´t have the same? So I questioned that God loved me and that he loved all his children here in Nicaragua. It was funny, the answer to my prayer in this aspect was not to see lots of baptisms or successes in the missionary work, to prove that he really loved his children. Rather it came when I prayed for me and for other people, I'd have an over whelming feeling of love. Also studying and praying about the atonement really helped.

Anyway that was my week. The mission is the best. The mission is a rollercoaster. 

Also, thank you Nikki Merrill and Megan Stout, and Heather Brinkerhoff, and Dad for your letters. They are the best. Seriously letters keep a missionary going!

I love love love you all!

Hermana Heather Merrill